Exactly!
Jesus is beyond explanation of everything good and beyond what our tiny human minds can even attempt to cultivate. There are no words to explain--finite to any language--how abundant our love for Christ should be just because simply, "he first loved us" (1 John 4:19).
"He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Song of God does not have life." -- 1 John 5:12
But before I get excited too early into this, and before I get into the deeper realms of what God's been speaking to me personally and where he's got me going, I wanna first take the time to let you guys in on where the heck I've been this past month-and-a-half ;) Haha! I know it's been quite awhile since I last blogged, and to be honest, there is no rosey reason of why I've refrained from doing so. I can make all kinds of surface excuses, but really, it comes down to one main point...-->
The reason why I've opted for leave of blog-absence, was because I've been going through a real rough and topsy-turvy cycle of faith questioning. Throughout the past 3 weeks, I've allowed myself to get in the way of God's voice. I semi-steered clear from the word (only really reading it out of resentment) and I lost footing in the intimate relationship he called me to be in with Him...becoming too controlled by my emotions. As much as I hate to admit, and though I was working in ministry, I became consumed by the worldly views of various aspects of my life and zoomed in on the influence I was having spiritually on the people around me. I let pride, not God, dominate the fruit I hoped to produce. I was obsessed with investing in relationships solely for being credited with leading people into the everlasting, and not letting Jesus captain the reigns. I only concentrated on my personal role in God's kingdom and seldom prayed for (or thought of even) how I could get involved with the blessed things he was already working in. I was doubting where he was using me, how he was using me, when he'd be using me...and in addition, became overwhelmed by the amazing opportunities he was handing me in plainsight. I let my faith be torn to shreds because I was afraid to put my entire trust in him,....and yet on the outside, you would've never been able to tell.
"Love can't cover wrongs if we let frustrations and failures keep us apart"
-- Under the Overpass, Mike Yankoski
Funny how that happens, huh? We can get so greedy, so obsessed, so selfish that as we claim to be in awe of God's might, we can find ourselves at a point to where we realize that we've taken complete advantage of it. In his perfectly crafted movie of life, we still find ways to rave over the smallest scenes of importance to us and let it consume our entire beings. We let it eat us inside out until there's nothing left and forget the bigger picture.
What God has humbled me with though, is that he's called me to remember Jesus. I'd say it over and over trying to convince myself that I was in constant bewilderment of the sacrifice he made to give us new life, but I didn't truly reckon with it. I would assure myself that "the more you say it, the more you repeat it in your mind over and over again, you'd believe it". I'd foster it in my head more than I was comfortable to in my heart. I was afraid to die to myself completely. I lost trust. And it really felt like I had waited long enough where I felt it in my heart that the convictions I had once proved content in, had expired. BUT, what I've come to realize today--and all along, actually--was that those convictions haven't expired at all! They're alive, and I have proof! Me in my feeble spirit, yet favorably valued as any of His children are, has vital position in His kingdom because of the son, Jesus Christ. In the weakness that we've been prone to since existence, he calls us to run to him. When we're sunken to our lowest, He is constantly paving the way for spiritual restoration! Always picking up the pieces, and gently putting us back together. He's always working to humble us so that we may realize how much we need Him and nothing else!...that if we can come into this world with nothing but a heart for worship, we can leave it just the same! :)
"The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him though he is not far from each one of us. For in him we live and move and have our being.
As some of your own poets have said, 'We are his offspring'." [the apostle, Paul] -- Acts 17:24-28
Neat huh? :) How each of us were mapped out layer by layer for the sole purpose of worshipping and serving the Lord. All because he wants us to share in his creation, to love one another and have dominion over the earth with each other. To populate worshippers and care for each other as if we were each other's own. Easier said than done, right? I mean honestly, I've folded this concept over and over in my mind but never really challenged it's true meaning. We discuss it often enough, us and our Christian buddies. We arrive at thee most profound convictions over cocoa and good company. Definitely good stuff for sure, and real sweet sources of joyous memories in fellowship...but where does this take us if all that we get from discussion is merely renewed certainty in the definition of our purpose? What does it do to properly define (by words) what it means to love, serve, worship, die to oneself, and devote? Well, to put it bluntly,...nothing! Sure it's good to settle with it first and foremost,...but man, let's just stop talking and start doing!
I talk too much! You talk too much! We talk too much!!! I love prayer, but if that's just all we're doing to confront the battles of this world and not lending a hand in it as God calls us to, we're being really idle in our walks. Let's get real guys, if our convictions are just sitting there, getting stale, we aren't fulfilling ourselves of God's best to seek him. Besides what comes out of our mouths as Christians, ask yourself, "does my life look any different than everyone elses'?".
If we're too afraid to get uncomfortable for God, we're not trusting Him as our refuge and ultimate deliverer. Let us pray for (not write off!) boldness, and run with it! Let us be obsessed! I want Christ on the brain and nothing else! To be honest with you, I kinda hate that I'm sitting here blogging right now. Think about it...if God decides to come upon the earth right this second and unfold his revelation, I'm definitely not gonna look like a very legit warrior sitting at my computer, blogging. I'm totally stoked to be here sharing in my passion with you, praying that you take your faith to new heights from all that God has been teaching me, but when He does return, I hope to be on my knees or out there showing Christ's love to the world!
Ho! You share in that same fervor or what?! :)
So...what does that even mean?!! Fine, we've tumbled over it...worship, serve, love...but what does that look like?! Well, first thing, forget that it's all about you...because it's not! It's about God, it's always been about God, and it's God that we ought to desire to please. NOT yourself or anyone. If you're genuine in your walk with Christ and really believe that he is the ultimate, the most high, and the one which we hope to be in union with up in heaven someday, you will understand that loving his people with joyful hearts is chief. As his sheep, we ought to care for those who don't care for us, love those who hate us, smile at those who scorn us...
"Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.' Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?' The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'" -- Matthew 25:34-40
Mean ah?! Thanks to the Bible, and these really really cool books I've read up on ('Crazy Love', by Francis Chan and 'Under the Overpass', by Mike Yankoski), I've really taken it to heart the underbelly of this scripture. It's pretty amazing! Makes me think a lot about the seriousness of my faith and what I've done to not just prove my passions, but really show why I believe so strongly in the love of my God. Have I been doing ample work in practicing what I preach?...really extending my hands in service to others, instead of always just "praying about it"? God's so big! Whether or not I decide to do something about it, his will's being done no matter what! But because I am his child, he calls me to be obedient to him and give what he's given me to provide for others. My finances are his, my books are his, my clothes are his...my excess is his and it's doing no good just sitting around me collecting dust. In the rubble of my sins, he chooses to use me to do his work. And though it's a natural and constant struggle in the life of any devoted follower of Christ, I willfully jump at any chance to do so.
"...his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night.
He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers." -- Psalm 1:2-3
With this, here's what I come to...it's starting really small (and I hope to make it regular) but I really want to get out into the world and show people who Jesus is. No, I'm not gonna slam their heads over with a Bible--though I do hope to share with them the abundancy of grace in his provision--but I'd like to make it a point at least once or twice a month to feeding the homeless. I've done it once before with Roots, a few months back into the summer. A group of us (a little over 10) went out to Waikiki with our guitars, mandolins, video cameras and dollar bills to hit the streets. We prayed before heading out, then went to McDonalds and bought 5 burgers each. Totalling 50 burgers, we passed out every single one that night...all the while, with songs of the Lord spilling from our guts and into the air. It was an amazing experience! Along the way, we even made new friends :) With the rest of the panhandlers lined along the sidewalk, a group of 5 (about our age) stood together trying to make money by breakdancing...we handed each of them a burger and with much thanksgiving, got a dose of their talent. They were really really thankful for our kindness, and I just praised God that he was using us to make this small difference in these people's lives. That his presence and light in us was what made them gleam that night.
We also met a bunch of elderly homeless people too. After giving them burgers, we stayed awhile and chatted with them...asking them about their lives. Though we were the ones mostly being spoken to, God convicted and humbled me deeply. He showed me the value of relationships...the joy that one can be enveloped by by the simple demonstration of human nurturing, in the least. People desire compassion and benevolence, and little notions (if any) that they're cared for deeply by another. To know that there are people out there who are concerned for their best interests, even if it is just to relieve them from begging for a few coins to cover for their next meal. This is demonstrating true love for Jesus. In addition to profession and belief in the heart, we ought to love on one another just as this. We ought not hesitate to engage in acts as this. Not only should we love those who love us back, but also for those who probably don't care to love us because they know nothing else but to survive the next day.
"In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds
and praise your Father in heaven." -- Matthew 5:16
And that is what I hope to be a part of. This coming Saturday (check the facebook event), I want to do that same thing. In addition to burgers, I'm asking everyone to bring their old and unused jackets so we can pass those out as well. I want everyone to see that God's got an army working in this generation, not just in Hawaii, but about the globe, who have hearts on fire to serve Him!
Lord God, thank you for loving me! Thank you for rescuing me from the terrors of my iniquities and for making me weak so that I may loosen myself from the things I've attached myself to, and run for your comforting grasp! I love you and I desire my life would be oriented around eternity with you :) Please continue in the refining and polishing of the servanthood of your children...let us trust and live in obedience to you and not let the eagerness of self-righteousness overcome. Forgive us for when in the future our hearts may become hardened to your teaching and discipline. We want to constantly desire to love you as much as you love us, not only in profession but in demonstration too. May we never tire to make your voice clearer to our understanding...that your word would be engraved in our hearts and never tarnish. Thank you for growing us in faith, Lord God. For providing us strong vessels and using us to communicate your love to each other better and more each day. For improving our prayer life and for constantly showing us the that we are nothing without you! Help us to not put things of the world and people above you in our heads. That you would be center of our entire being and grow in us furthered devotion to the pursuit of seeing your kingdom upon us. We're tired of falling short, losing interest, sinning, not delivering when we most could...of not taking risks of faith and stepping up in the opportunities you've given us. May you be the only one we live for! Aid us the whole way, Lord God. We can't even love you on our own, nor can we try to keep ourselves near without being tempted so easily. Be all we think about, all we dream about, all we care about! Shield us with your shining glory from the enemy and his demonic accomplices! We're so susceptible for destruction, Lord God...but I pray that we would move only by the power of your Holy Spirit. That we would come before you and surrender, in our brokenness...and that you would use us in it to exalt yourself :) Lastly, Lord God, I pray that we would not settle for anything short of your best. Help us to aim high and see that radical Christianity IS the Christianity you call us to live.
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