Ho, God!

"...you're sooooo good!!! So forgiving, so loving, so merciful, so...almighty! How could I have lived 18 years of my life without knowing you? Without knowing the magnitude of your amazing truths?! Lord God, I pray that through this blog you would bless the reader. That you would scoop up their life from under them and make it yours. I pray that this person would desire to know you intimately and grow to a point in there relationship with you where they can call you Dad. That they would familiarize with the same comfort, dependability and security provided by the people in their lives who love them and want to live according to your calling...whatever that may be. I pray that through my personal experiences and convictions and revelations by you, they would want to seek your kingdom for themselves and find it in there hearts to give praise :) For that, in itself, is the purpose for which you created us. Lord God, change our hearts. Make us new and impart on us your right ways. Forgive me for not loving so easy as I should. For not being so quick to listen and slow to speak. Lord God, I'm such a dirty person. Everyday I'm blown away everytime I think about your love for me...and how you sacrificed your holy, perfect son to wipe away my sins. Holy smokes!!! I sin choooke, God! Why?! How would you be so forgiving of the things I've done?! God, all I think about is myself! All I think about a lot of the time is how I will be used by you. How I can serve others to bring myself blessing! So selfish! Lord God, I pray that...NO MORE! I want my sights set on you and only! Never, ever do want to be dependent on anyone else for your glory. God, you no me so well....inside and out...and you know how lame I can be. How often I compare myself to other people...to weigh how much of a good person I am, how much better of a Christian I am, how fired-up spiritually I am, and how loving I am...

"Then you, my people, will know that I am Lord, when I open your graves and bring you up from them. I will put my Spirit in you and you will live, and I will settle you in your own land. Then you will know that I the Lord have spoken, and I have done it, declares the Lord" --> Ezekiel 37:13-14

God, Paul Washer says to "compare yourself to scripture. Not to men who call themselves Christian who compares to men who call themselves Christian." That's something that's stuck with me since I've heard it...and I don't want to be guilty of it anymore! Comparing myself to SCRIPTURE...that's just what I want to do here on out. I want to be that sinful woman in the Bible who worshipped and wept and Jesus' feet and poured perfume all over him! I want to just be in complete awe of you! And not care about what anyone else thinks! I want to be a fool for you, Lord God.

"As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humbel and gently; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the SPirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one SPirit--just as you were called to one hope when you were called--one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all." --> Ephesians 4:1-6

To weep openly, give cheerfully, love easily, and serve willingly! Please, please help me do that. I don't want to be a faker anymore. I want to stand strong for you, and steadfast. Lord God, you are holy holy holy! Beyond words! Have mercy on me...help me see clearly. I love you and I want to see your face! In Jesus' name, Amen!"